Two weeks ago at the age of 97, my grandmother died peacefully. For the first week after her death, I was here in Arkansas, not having seen her for three months, during which time our relationship had consisted of frequent, short conversations on the phone and letters I would write to her. Though she and I have always been close, she has been relatively absent from my life recently and thus her ultimate absence has been difficult to comprehend. In the midst of a lot of family occasions in my grandmother’s memorial, I have tried to steal time with Laura (Riding) Jackson’s poetry and prose. I must confess, I entertained the notion that perhaps Jackson would lend some meaning to the context of death I found myself in and reach a hand through time to mine. This failed attempt at trying to turn poetry for school into poetry that I needed illuminates for me some of the shortcomings of the art form, of course a favored subject of Jackson herself.
“How did I make the mistake of assuming that, from the art of poetry, the reality of live, personal truth could be precipitated?” Jackson asks in “Introduction for a Broadcast,” which was her first explanation of her renunciation of poetry. She goes on to state of her poetry that “because they are poems, they can provide only one kind of satisfaction, poetical satisfaction. But the very evocation of the other kind provides something extra, a bonus” and that bonus “is a fictive spiritual feat, a beguilement of the soul.” For Jackson, the experience of being moved by a poem is an aesthetic experience, not a spiritual one.
For my part, my failure to shake relevance out of Jackson’s poetry sheds light on a few aspects of the relationship between a poem and its reader. I toiled mightily to actualize my grandmother’s absence through poems such as “Mortal,” “Death as Death,” and “Respect for the Dead,” and found moments of simple intellectual connection, but none that grounded me in reality. I came into this enterprise with very simple questions, questions I can’t ask artfully: my grandmother no longer exists, what does that mean? Jackson’s poetry cynically riffs on her own feelings of inadequacy, suicide, and her notion that only the dead are truthful. Her answers don’t even cross paths with my questions.
And so it is, I think for many scholastic readers: the books they are made to read do not answer their most pressing questions. They receive books for class that are passed down a chain of power. Some grand person somewhere decides that some poem or book best approaches answers to the questions he or she deems most important. Then that person assesses himself or herself as important enough that everyone should be asking the same questions and should therefore read the same poems. I don’t particularly relate to this situation; I chose this class out of many others, with a full understanding of the reading list. Also, I am a convinced reader: I am not going to lose interest in reading at this point because I couldn’t relate to one poet. But I think it is possible that many students, on the cusp of deciding that they do or do not like reading, have the definitive experience of not finding the material relatable. Sometimes the poem or book simply does not fit a particular reader, and this can be an embittering experience for someone who earnestly seeks insight.
In the context of the academic system, people are told they will receive the reward of good grades if they read what they have been told is important for them to read. And school encourages them to order their reading experience into papers for which they will be rewarded if their writing is good enough and their thoughts matter enough to someone other than themselves. The act of reading becomes one in which readers are coerced into convincing themselves and others that what they have been told to read matters to them. They are given very little opportunity to embark on their own search for material that they find truthful. These are the rudiments of English education as it has been for years. In the ever pluralizing world, the challenges of presenting literature in the classroom that will be meaningful to the majority of students are obvious.
I think that for Jackson to state that poetry has no real truth to it is an exaggeration and an oversimplification. I think her renunciation of poetry is one more example of the way individual opinion can be believed and stated as the answer to everyone else’s questions. Who is she to generalize the experience of encountering a poem for everyone else? What does she know of the insight a poem might bring to a reader, regardless of whether its poet was too caught up in the poem’s structure to genuinely mean her words? Furthermore, at the basest level, the very existence of a poem speaks a truth that is often comforting to a reader: that someone else has gone through what that reader might be going through. But I do think that Jackson is right to question poetry’s inerrancy, because a poem’s truth will never be truth to everyone that reads it. And I do think that there are limitations to words. There are some experiences and meanings that words cannot fully contain, as I have experienced in the past few days as I recited prayers and hymns in memorial services, listened to condolences in receiving lines, and read poems in my Laura Riding Jackson Reader.
Two days after my grandmother died she was cremated. I was at home, in Arkansas, having not been in her presence for months, having not witnessed the actuality of her physical existence for so long that now its absence was too abstract for me to mourn. Then I sliced my hand open on a nail and sat staring at the small wound on my hand: a small, ambivalent mouth on my palm, whose parted lips neither smiled nor frowned but within moments began gushing blood. Several nights later in Virginia, the evening after my grandmother’s ashes had been committed to the ground, my mother stepped on a mouse in the living room. A little stunned at the odds that my mother’s foot and a tiny mouse had crossed paths, we all stood and looked at the mouse for a moment, wondering if it would live. It lay in the carpet, twisting its limbs and face in an expression of pain as eloquent as any human’s, and then we picked it up and dealt with it as compassionately as we could. I will spare you the details of what these two experiences meant to me; any words I would come up with would do them little justice, and might not mean anything to you. The truth is that they were experiences and try as I might, I don’t think I could thoroughly render into words the small amount of understanding that they helped me gain about the presence of my mortal body, the fragility of its structure, and the nature of pain. And somewhere in the midst of it, my hand and the mouse helped me comprehend the aging, the stopping, and the disappearance of my grandmother’s earthly remains. Sometimes poetry can help a person understand such things, and sometimes it cannot. The extent of its meaningfulness changes from situation to situation, and person to person, and sometimes life itself intervenes, in bizarre little vignettes, and offers the sought after moments of clarity.





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